It was a noisy night in a hotel lobby. The conversation has been going on for a while on a subject that was a point of destruction for her mother and a point of creation for D.  She’s been on her third glass of unknown Turkish red wine, which made her want to follow it with Turkish coffee and sweets she normally would disregard. The wine made her loose and humorous. The great matter of a subject was her apartment in Saint Petersburg, which has been staying inhabitant for a while. She was trying to figure out how to rent it out and get some extra cash for it. Mother’s husband, who had all the power over mother’s will, was against mother’s involvement in the business. His biggest argument was that it’s a lot of work and he preferred her to do her watercolors instead. However, he showed a great deal of support for the idea that if D would give up an apartment and put her mother’s name on it mother will be free to take care of it. The whole concept didn’t make sense to D and the painfully looping conversation didn’t seem to ever come to the end. 

– You don’t understand! I will save an apartment for you and if you need money – I’ll give it to you! – mother was getting more and more emotional.

“Mother dearest, if you’re willing to take care of it only if the papers would look different, why don’t you disregard the papers?”

There was a scene in Sex and the City, where the heroine wouldn’t marry her boyfriend saying that it’s just a paper, and he would say if it’s just a paper, why she makes such a big deal out of it? 

This reminder made D. crank. 

Mother went on:

“You said you want to use that money to invest, but it’s such little money for America! “

“Mother dearest, what do you know about investments?” 

“Well, you have to have a lot of money to invest.”

“Let me be frank, you know shit about investments.” 

“I know what you told me!”

“Well, I, honestly, know shit about investments.” 

They paused. 

“Dear, I just don’t want you to blame me for me not taking care of it! I’m sure you do! If you hire someone to take care of it they will take at least 50%. And you’ll get nothing after all. “

“I don’t blame you.”

“I know you do”, – said the mother in distrust. 

It’s been a solid hour and a half and D. was in great need of a breakthrough. She comforted her body on a soft couch and pour out something rather cinematic she found weirdly appropriate to say.

“Mother dearest, the only thing I blame you for sometimes is that you refused to make abortion and brought me to this world, and now I have to figure out by myself how the fuck all this shit works, struggling with the relationship, anxiety, my purpose in life, work, money, and health. “

D. stared into mother’s eye with a soft smile. The mother froze for a moment, her expression was unreadable. D. felt relieved and tired. The curiosity for the effect was making her patient and calm, after all, it was the truth, and it was the only thing she sincerely wanted to talk about. Finally, the mother spat out a quick laugh.

“Well, ok, very funny. I love you very much and I just want you to be happy! “

“I love you too, mom. And I am very happy.”

They wished each other a good night, hugged, and parted. 

D. finished her Turkish coffee and flipped a cup to see what the coffee prediction would show her. Sitting alone in a noisy hotel lobby, she stared at it for a few minutes in numbing silence and then left, without flipping the cup.